feels

I’m fighting for love ‘Cause love is the only thing I feel I’m fighting for us…

I feel like I want to gush some feelings. I’m overwhelmed. I’m exhausted but yet, I can’t stop.

I am literally fighting for love at this point. I am fighting everyone and everything in the way of my wife getting what she needs and deserves.

I love her with my whole being. She loves me unconditionally and I can’t explain the joy that creates in me. I want to share a little about her, and why she means so much to me, instead of just posting a bunch of angry rants, which while important, do not explain why this is so important to me.

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This is my BEAUTIFUL wife.

 

So as you can see she is beautiful, but there is something that the photo can’t capture…

That’s her beautiful personality. 

We started talking over 7 years ago now, and not one second during that time have I ever doubted that she genuinely cares about me. She cares a lot about all of the people in her life. I really am glad that I have her who loves me unconditionally.

She doesn’t just SAY she loves me though, she SHOWS me that. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. She works hard to make sure that I have the support I need to achieve whatever I set my mind too. She encourages me to go after what I really believe in. She pushes me to be a better person, and I am so thankful for that.

A lot of people, mostly my family, have asked me since she came out to me, “What is going to happen between you two?” or they try to offer me support like: “well, Just remember… You can always come home” And while I know that they mean well, I also know that them saying that is always with a hint of transphobia, as well as religious beliefs that tell them that she is sinning.

My mother and father both have taken the attitude of “love the sinner, hate the sin” and I just want to proclaim it to the world that I do NOT see her as a sinner because of this. She is the same person that I knew before, just a more confident version.

I love my family, but I think they do not understand exactly what my wife means to me. So I am taking the time now to share with the world, why my wife is the best.

1. My wife is loving. She loves those near her unconditionally. It doesn’t matter what is going on in her life, she takes time to show those who are near and dear to her, that they are loved. She tells me all the time how amazing I am, and how she believes in me, and asks what she can do to help me when I am struggling.

I am so thankful for this, as growing up, my family loved me, but it always felt like there were strings. There were only two people who I never felt that with, before my wife, and I always like to say that they were up in heaven guiding her to me. I thank the universe each and every day that our paths crossed, because despite all the emotions and struggle regarding her situation I would not EVER want to lose her.

2. My wife is my rock. She may be struggling with her own issues at times, but I know that I can ALWAYS count on her to help me when I really need it. It doesn’t matter if that is 4 in the morning, or if it is the middle of a work day. If I need her, she is there. She helps me find balance in my (absolutely overworked at times) brain.

She will hold me accountable, whether its that I need to do the laundry, or that I need to study, if I start getting off track, she will push me back to the best of her ability. I need her in my life so that I can keep moving forward.

3. She believes in me. No matter how much I struggle she is ALWAYS there with words of encouragement, or ideas on how I can keep moving forward. She is able to push me out of my sometimes bad circular thought processes BETTER than anyone else. She knows what I want, and always reminds me of it when I am feeling lost, and she tells me that I can do ANYTHING that I want to do.

This is something that I feel like I was lacking before she came into my life. I would struggle because a) I had adhd, and it was not being treated, but b) because I had no idea of what I wanted. I felt like I had no purpose, I was running around trying to find what I was good at, and struggled to make progress as I never knew what steps to take. She has helped me build the staircase forward in life without it crumbling underneath me.

4. She is determined. When she sets her mind to a project, she will focus on it, and keep pushing until she succeeds. This is one thing that has REALLY impressed me. It could be anything from a very special valentine card made of pixel art, to a programming project at work, she pushes herself, and is always working to learn something new along the way. I am so proud of her, and so thankful that I have her to look up to when I feel discouraged, so that I am able to be inspired to keep pushing even when things are rough.

And last (for now)…

5. She listens to me. She really listens. She tries to understand even when my adhd brain is causing me to not make any sense. She will take the time to listen, and understand where I am coming from, before jumping to make conclusions. This means that we have not really had many arguments. We compliment each other really well, because she likes to listen, and I like to talk.

This list is obviously not a complete list of why I love my wife, but I just wanted to share with the world a little bit about the person that I am so fiercely fighting for. I will go fight to the end of the earth if it means that she will be happy, because she deserves nothing less.

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